


Nightmares

by blonde_butterfly



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 02:26:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blonde_butterfly/pseuds/blonde_butterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver lost his best friend in the earthquake. It never occurred to him that he could have lost more that night. He could have lost her.</p>
<p>Oliver/Felicity, focuses on events from 1x23.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> The result of the prompt, "What if Tommy wasn't the only one who died?"
> 
> The resulting story was far too sad and so this was re-written in a way that wouldn't make the author cry. Made the author's sister cry though. 
> 
> Just a warning. Let me know what you think!
> 
> (Some scenes are taken directly from 'Sacrifice', they do not belong to me and may have been altered to suit.)

He hadn’t been able to save his city. Oliver Queen could do nothing more than watch as the city shook and began to crumble. Fires broke out all over the place. Screams filled the air as people struggled to get away from the broken buildings and their lives falling down around them.

Oliver was too late. Malcolm Merlyn, who lay dead on the roof behind him had won. The Glades were falling down, taking down anyone who was in the way.

“Oliver?” A shaky voice in his ear called, bringing him back to earth. Felicity.

“Are you okay?” He asked quickly.

There was a pause on the line and a sniff. She was doing her best to hold it all together but it wasn’t working. Even without seeing her he could tell she was crying. “Yeah…” Felicity whimpered as something behind her sparked. The line cut off abruptly.

“Felicity?!”

There was nothing but silence.

“The damage seems to be contained on the east side,” Diggle said, pointing. Oliver looked over the city, at the destruction. There was a crash as another building fell down. Half destroyed buildings were slowly crumbling and the fires were starting to spread. Looking at the worst hit spots, he felt himself go cold.

“Laurel and Tommy.” He breathed. He knew Laurel would probably have gone to work, and Tommy had chased after her, putting them both in the danger zone.

“Go, go.” Diggle told him. As quickly as he could, he left the rooftop and jumped on his bike.

Oliver knew he was getting close when he could hear Laurel’s voice. It took a second to realize she was screaming out for Tommy. Leaping into action, he climbed into the wrecked building.

But he was too late.

Shifting cement off his best friend, Oliver had the briefest moment of hope. Hope that they would be okay. His hope was violently dashed when he noticed the metal impaling his best friend and the blood pool on his chest spreading.

“Tommy,” He whispered in shock.

As he lay dying, Tommy asked after Laurel. Oliver felt the guilt slam into him. He hadn't been around to help save his best friends girlfriend, and now he couldn’t do anything as Tommy bled out. He reassured Tommy that he had saved her, and managed a brave smile. The smile faded away as he thought of how devastated Laurel would be. She had only just gotten back with Tommy, after Oliver assured them both he was no longer in love with her. It was a little bit of a lie. He did still love her, but not in the same way he was in love with someone else. With Felicity, who he hoped was still okay. With a stab of guilt, he tried to focus on the situation at hand.

"Tell Laurel, tell her I love her." Tommy said, on the verge of crying. Laurel was safe, and that was all that mattered to him.

“Hey, I’ll get you out of here. You’re going to be fine.” Oliver said as he began to look for a way to help.

“Oliver, stop.” Tommy’s voice was coming ragged. “I’m sorry.”

Oliver had frozen at Tommy’s words, snapped out of it at the apology, kneeling down. “Don’t apologize.” It was then he realized it was all hopeless. He couldn’t move Tommy, and he couldn’t stop the bleeding.

Tommy kept talking, his voice coming fainter with every sentence.  When he asked if Oliver had killed his father, Oliver automatically said no. He could see how bad Tommy was getting and didn’t want him to be upset in what looked like his last moments.

“Thank you,” Tommy whispered as he took his last breaths.

“Tommy?” Tears filled Oliver’s eyes, spilling over. “It should have been me.” His hands were on the sides of Tommy’s face, cradling it. “Open your eyes, Tommy.” He begged desperately. But nothing happened.  His hand shifted, willing him to have a pulse but it was still. His best friend was dead and it was his fault. There were so many things he wanted to say; sorry 

Oliver’s phone rang, but he pushed ignore. He was still staring at Tommy’s face, begging him silently to wake up. He ignored the second call as well, but on the third he picked up and snapped.

“What?!”

“Oliver? The foundry… It’s fallen down. And I can’t reach Felicity.”

At Diggle’s words, he nearly dropped the phone. Glancing over at Tommy again, Oliver made the decision. “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he muttered as he hung up. With one last stroke down the unresponsive face, Oliver rose and headed back to the bike.

No words could have prepared him for the sight as he reached the foundry. Few parts of the walls remained standing, broken concrete and glass was everywhere. Knowledge of where the door to the stairs should have been was the only guide he had.

Picking his way over gently, he was shocked when his foot began to sink into the floor. As he jumped back, he watched as the ground shifted and lowered. Pieces of concrete were falling down into the basement, but he didn’t wait until they stopped. Moving faster, he headed toward the back of the club, which looked to be the strongest part.

The door was still standing, but broken. He yanked it off the hinges and charged down the stairs.

“Felicity!” He called out, coughing from the dust. There was no reply.

The basement had fared better than upstairs, but not by a lot. There was a pile on concrete in the middle of the room, from where the ceiling had been. Most of the lights had blown out, so Oliver had to slowly move around, searching for Felicity and hoping she had gotten out.

Something bumped his thigh and he spun around quickly. Felicity’s chair had moved when he pushed a broken desk away.

Her arm was the first thing he spotted, the pale skin standing out in the near darkness. He sprinted over to her. She was curled under her the remains of her computer desk. His eyes scanned her body, seeing nothing worse than superficial cuts but he couldn’t see all of her chest and head.

Throwing the table pieces, smashed computer pieces and bricks away, he moved to her side.

Automatically, he searched out for a pulse. Her throat was still. Falling down to the floor, he pulled her up to his chest.  One hand reached up to cradle her head, tugging through her wet hair. His fingers found the deep gash on the back of her head.

“Felicity…” His voice cracked and he pulled her closer. Her face slipped into his neck perfectly and he lowered his face and let the walls down.

For the second time that night, he was crying over someone he loved. His best friend and his… Felicity. He’d never had the chance to tell her how he felt. To wrap his arms around her and breathe in the sweet scent that was just her. To laugh when she was babbling and kiss her to silence her. To wake up with her next to him, her beautiful face being the last thing he saw at night and the first in the morning.

His body racked with sobs. All he could feel was guilt.

Guilt he couldn’t stop Malcolm Merlyn in time to stop the earthquake.

 Guilt he hadn’t forced Felicity to go home when they headed out – she would have been out of the glades.

Guilt he had lied to Tommy as he lay dying.

Guilt for not checking up on Felicity when she had been scared and the phone cut out.

Guilt for her dying alone.

And guilt for all the pain they felt, and for the days they would never get to live.

Above him, the ceiling shifted and he could only watch as it all came tumbling down.

With a gasp, Oliver woke up. Drenched in sweat, he sat straight up. He rubbed his face and glanced at the clock. Only an hour had passed since he went to bed.

Ever since the earthquake, he had been suffering from nightmares. Nightmares about the earthquake, watching Tommy die all over again. Ever since the one year anniversary of the earthquake, the dreams had been worse. The candlelight vigil had made him realize just how close he had come to losing everyone he loved. Merlyn could have killed Diggle up on that rooftop. Laurel could have died in the CNRI. Felicity could have died in the foundry. Since that realization, he had begun seeing their deaths play out in his sleep.

Only tonight it felt different. Recalling Felicity’s dead body in his arms, all the guilt of his dream flooded back to him. She was alive, he knew that. But he couldn’t stop himself from feeling guilty and worried about her. He still loved her, and he had all the opportunities he didn’t in his nightmare, but he couldn’t bring himself to say any of it to her.

He could still feel the pain of losing her, it lingered on the edge of his mind.

Knowing he wouldn’t get any more sleep, he grabbed his keys. He hadn’t intended to end up on her doorstep at early hours of the morning, but before he knew it he was at her door with his hand raised to knock.

Twice he went to knock, and twice he pulled away. It was early, and she was sleeping. But he needed to see her. To know she was alive and fine. To hold her if he could.

It took a moment before he heard any noises. A mumbling person approached the door and paused, checking who was there.

“Oliver?” She asked as she opened the door. Before she could say anything further he pulled her into his arms. Her skin was warm from sleep and her hair messy and he loved it.  Just like his dream her head fitted into the side of his neck. Only this time he could feel her hot breath against his cold skin. She hesitated for a moment before he felt her arms encircle his waist.

They stayed like that for a moment before the cold air made her shiver. She pulled away slowly and looked at him with concern. The dark circles under his eyes told her he hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in a while, even though he would deny anything was wrong. Taking him by the hand, she pulled him inside and led him to the couch.

“What’s wrong, Oliver?” Felicity asked gently. He played with her fingers as he worked out how to phrase his thoughts.

“You died. In my dream.” His voice choked and she turned to face him, wrapping her free hand around his arm. He could feel the warmth from where her legs pressed against his and he just wanted to pull her closer.

“You died in the earthquake, and it felt so real. It just made me realize how different life would be if you weren’t there. I’d have gone back to the island, but without you Dig wouldn’t have been able to track me down and I’d probably still be there. Alone. Until I eventually died.” His trembling voice broke off and he swallowed hard.

“I’m okay,” she reassured him. “You’re okay.” Gently, she turned his head to face her, her thumb stroking his cheek. “We are okay.”

He pulled her in again and rested his cheek on her head. Sitting half on his lap, she shifted into a slightly more comfortable position and put her arms around his neck. His hand was gently resting on her neck, and she realized with a sad smile he could feel her pulse, as if to reassure himself she was alive.

His breath slowed and she gently shook him awake again. He nuzzled her hair and breathed the floral scent in with a small smile. Felicity slid off his lap and pushed to stand up. He tried pulling her back but he was half asleep. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.

“I don’t want to go. Want to stay with you.” He mumbled softly.

“Come on, Oliver.” She smiled a little at how peaceful he was looking.

“No, I want to stay.” He stared straight in her eyes and whispered, “Please can I stay with you?”

“Of course. But it’s cold out here. So just. You can stay with me. But behave yourself.” She couldn’t believe what she was going to do, but she wanted to go back to sleep and if he wasn’t going to let her go she was going to take him with her.

He smiled as he followed her into her room. He kicked off his shoes and his jacket and didn’t even hesitate to climb into her bed after her. Felicity shivered as the cold sheets hit her skin and felt him hesitantly reach out to her. She was unable to believe Oliver Queen was actually in her bed, not quite in the circumstances she wanted, but still he was in her bed. Contentedly, she guided him to her side and he laid his head on her chest.

They remained in silence, Oliver listening to her heart beat and reassuring himself she was alive which she trailed a hand through his hair.

“Felicity?” His soft whisper startled her out of her thoughts.

“Go to sleep, Oliver.” She told him, opening one eye to glance down at him.

An arm snaked around her waist and something brushed her collarbone softly.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Finally she had to ask, genuinely confused as to what he was talking about.

“This. Everything. For being my rock. I don’t know what I would do without you,” he confessed.

“Well you don’t have to worry, I’m not going anywhere. So go to sleep.” She sounded more serious this time and he nodded.

Light as a feather he pressed another kiss to her collarbone and shut his eyes. They would need to talk in the morning; he’d decided to tell her exactly how he felt. However, in those early morning hours with her warm and sleeping beside him, he slept better than he had in a year. He only regretted not going to her sooner and resolved to not hold back anymore. He had the opportunity now, and he was finally ready to take it.


End file.
